1. Encourage exploration, imagination and experimentation.
2. Stop saying “no.”
If a yes can’t be worked, still don’t say no, instead offer them another area to explore, try and create.
3. Stop saying good job.
Wait, what?! Did I read that right? Yes, yes you did. Trust me for a second. Good job is an easy compliment, too easy and that’s the problem. Imagine achieving something huge, like a job promotion {or even a positive pregnancy test} and when you told your husband all he did was look up from his laptop and say “good job.” I don’t know about you but I’d be pretty darn upset or confused, did you hear what I just said, A PROMOTION {or} I’M PREGNANT! Your kids achievements, no matter how small, are huge to them and they deserve some attention, more than just a quick “good job.”
4. Speak words of affirmation {and be specific}.
Pay attention to their achievement and compliment them specifically. “Your picture is beautiful, you did a great coloring! I love how you added purple in the sky.”
5. Show them you care about what they are doing.
Get down on their level and treat what they are doing as you would an important task. Ask them questions about what they are doing and why.
6. Teach them how to create goals.
Goals, both short term and long term ones, help create focus and then celebration and pride upon achievement. {Check out this great post on Making a Bucket List with Your Kid to help you get started.} And remember to allow them to dream big.
7. Assign them with age appropriate chores.
Chores allows for a sense of ownership, teach responsibility and ultimately create confidence in who they are as individuals. Assigning chores ahead of time and teaching them self management is your goal here. Some kids will need reminders and directions to begin, especially if chores are new to them. Eventually you want to get to the point where they are self managing, here are some examples of what you can say to help.
- “I’ve noticed you’ve been doing a great job making your bed! What’s your plan for cleaning the toys off the floor?”
- “Don’t forget the kitchen needs to be swept before dinner.”
- “I’d love to watch a movie with you but remember chores have to be done first.”
You know your child best, figure out what works for your family, you can visit our Everything Parenting Pinterest board for more resources like chore sticks, chore bracelets and age appropriate chores.
8. Give them a confidence boost.
Pick one of their bigger goals and create opportunities for it to happen. An example would be if they need extra money for it to happen don’t just hand them a wad of cash, hire them to clean the house or wash the car for x amount of money or help them have a bake sale for the neighbors. With older children and larger goals they may have to do multiple tasks over multiple days to earn enough.
9. Help them become confident communicators.
A great way to help boost confidence in everyday communication is to work on public speaking. Public speaking practice doesn’t have to be done in front of a crowd, it’s more just about practicing talking with a little guidance. Kids’s Activity Blog has 3 awesome public speaking activities that we adore.
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